UNITED PASSIONS: Forget Everything You’ve Heard… Sepp’s Movie is AMAZING

I was one of probably less than 75 people in America who saw United Passions, the movie FIFA commissioned about its history. I assumed that I would be the only person in the theater and therefore planned to livetweet it.  I was shocked that there were six others in the theater with me.

The reviews are horrible.. seriously, Rotten Tomatoes has nine critics reviews and it has thus far earned a zero, yep, zippo.. the  New York Times called it, “one of the most unwatchable films in recent memory, a dishonest bit of corporate-suite sanitizing that’s no good even for laughs.”  Clearly this dude, Daniel Gold, did not watch the movie..  His entire review is not actually comparable with the film I saw.  My guess is he got notes and freeballed it.  Bad Daniel Gold bad or not since I am one of so few people who saw it..

He says, “Yet there is barely a nod to the corruption scandals that have plagued FIFA for decades.”

Is he drunk?  The entire plot of the movie is this message from a Sepp led FIFA, SINCE THE BEGINNING WE HAVE HATED THE ENGLISH AND BEEN BRIBED TO HOST THE WORLD CUP..ALSO WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN CORRUPT SO TAKE YOUR MORALITY, YOUR ETHICS, YOUR LAWS AND GTFO.” 

At no point do they try to hide or discount corruption, but instead embrace it as a traditional, and romantic part of the game.

Now, Sepp is positioned throughout as the noble servant of the organization and the game. Paying for FIFA salary from his own pocket because corrupt leaders have drained the coffers.  To be fair, it is not painted as altruistic to protect the staff from income loss but to protect the image of FIFA and the power of the game.

As for Gold’s assertion that it cannot even be played for laughs… again untrue.  Seven of us, unknown to each other but drawn by the love of the game… all laughed heartily at the same things.  They usually involved lines like, “you didn’t break any laws,” or, “we need more women in the game.”

Movie critics review movies for their critical appeal and artistic merit… this was not meant to be artistic or appeal to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences voters.  It is a dramatic defense of FIFA doing business in the FIFA way and not giving any fucks about if anyone else cares..  You have to understand the scandal and FIFA to understand what the film’s message is.

Gold makes another erroneous claim, “[i]ndeed, surprisingly little soccer is shown.”  Um, yeah that is not true at all.  They actually use a lot of original archival footage for many of the greatest WC and other games in history and they recreate others.  The film anchors with a modern multi-racial, multi-ethnic pick-up match between a bunch of boys and a single girl (she gets stuck in goal as per) watched by the local people of the town, where ever it is.

The montage of World Cup moments, both male and female, is honestly worth the $12 admission price.  It is also the nail in the coffin point FIFA wanted to make…

IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW MUCH CORRUPTION THERE IS.. YOU STILL CARE ABOUT THE WINNING THE TROPHY. WE STILL MAKE THAT POSSIBLE, SO STFU AND STOP WHINING ABOUT IT

That said, this person gets it.. THE 19 MOST RIDICULOUS MOMENTS IN FIFA MOVIE UNITED PASSIONS First one is amazingly true and we all burst out laughing..

97 Days… USWNT has a Score to Settle? Fox has some everyday sexism to sell you too

 

WTF is this sexist bullshit, Fox Soccer?  SERIOUSLY, NO WTF IS THIS?

The horrifying levels of sexism in this one commercial is staggering.

So according to Fox, the two-time winning World Cup champions, four-time Olympic champions, etc, etc, etc, U.S. Women’s National Team now apparently ONLY exists avenge the failures of the Men’s National Team, a team that has won precisely zero internationally.  Save me the CONCAFAF wins nonsense, since the ladies have won all of those too.

These professional athletes who have trained their whole lives, among whom hold some of the most impressive records in international soccer, a recent FIFA world player of the year and couple others who have been shortlisted, are simply reduced to being second rate subs for their male-less- than-actually-equal-counterparts.  It is both mind-boggling and highly insulting.

Silly me, I assumed that having lost in the FINAL of the 2011 Women’s World Cup that the, “SCORE TO SETTLE,” would be winning our trophy back.  Yes, I have seen us lift it a couple of times and simply believe it belongs to us.  Kind of like Brazil feels about the men’s trophy.

So tell me Fox Soccer, what is this “score” the women need to settle for the men? How will we all know when the score has been settled?  Does Jermaine Jones tweet, “that’s our win ladies and suck it Belgium?” When the women win the Cup, must they then have the USMNT come out and have Deuce collect it since it is clearly the guys’ trophy? After all, it is there score that got settled.

Why am I even wondering where the history of the USWNT fits into this score?  It clearly doesn’t.

Thanks Fox for correcting my clearly erroneous belief that the Women’s World Cup was about celebrating and supporting women athletes in an international setting.  Clearly it is about using women as pawns in a male soccer wars.

REVISED WITH PICS… ESPN and ITS AD AGENCY SOMEHOW FINDS A WAY TO BE MORE SEXIST IN PROMOTING WC

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These are the ONLY women featured in the ad… Males are shown playing and cheering because male = fandom

Seriously what the flipping hell is this Sexist, Stereotypical, Nonsense.. WOMEN ARE FANS OF THE GAME TOO.. NOT JUST SEX KITTENS TO PLACATE MALE FANTASIES.. ”

HOW HARD IS IT TO GRASP THAT? SERIOUSLY,

All women shown are half naked and grating in classical male dreams… It is that Adidas Brazilian ass t-shirt come to life. It is also equally offensive on so many levels

IT refused to embed.. probably because it knows its vile..  so here is the link:

ETA:  My issues with this Ad:
Look at how girls are presented (non-existent, only boys playing)

Why is not a single woman being associated with the matches? Why are they not cheering/involved in fandom of the sport?

Why is not a single girl playing soccer, some of the greatest female players on the planet are Brazilian (Hell Marta alone)?

Why are there no guys on the beach? just two hot bikini-clad girls shoot from the side to accentuate side-boob? 

Why are only women half-naked and gyrating? Where is male carnival presentation?

Why does a bikini clad women need to emerge out of the water with the cup?

Why is every women only presented as a sex object. 

I’m Not Talking About It…Oh USWNT WTF?

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I could rant, oh could I rant but right now.. I am in utter shock and an unacceptable level of bad awe to actually do any eloquent and evocative analysis of the flipping mess that is this Algarve Cup insanity.

TWO FLIPPING LOSSES and not like, “wow that was a fluke” losses, full on ass-whipping losses and an ugly probably undeserved draw.

So help me if Hope starts her usual post-loss BS attacks on the ’91/’99ers..  Other teams are better yes, but then again so supposedly are you and your teammates.  That was simply as ass-whipping good old fashion, kind grandpas and grandmas lament not being able to administer anymore (or maybe just mine)..

Thankfully this is not a World Cup year..But if you are wondering it will be the first time in 14 years the US does not medal..  so there is that.

Yeah, that is all I can say on that…