No idea how to Process today..

Honestly, I have no idea how to process today.  As I posted on Facebook at the start of the Cup, “a note to my non-soccer followers.. the next 35 days are going to be an emotional mess of ranting, cursing, crying and sharing. Be Prepared.”

It is true..  My diet at this point consists of brown rice and water, everything else I stress vomit up.   This happens before all World Cup matches.  Today I doubt that I will even try to eat that before the match.  There is the possibility that I will stress eat a ton during the match.

Since the draw, I have understood what USSF understood:  We were screwed.  My brackets reflected honesty. I had has drawing every match.  I refused to pick a loss and knew wins were impossible.  I forced myself to to believe, refused to get emotionally invested in this Cup. I understand it what this team is and I wholeheartedly support this plan.

Then I was filling out a bracket for @MLSist   quickly in the morning of June 6th before rushing out the door for work.  I wasn’t even paying attention when it it hit me. This is sort of my mental progression…

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Yeah I called the ESP upset.. 

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2 days short of 5 years later and I have the exact same feeling..  Hope is a horrible thing especially because I have no idea how deal with it.  My rational, logical, analytical brain continually fights with my emotional,  metaphysical (for lack of a better word) side.  I cannot let go of the reality of the situation but the gut-feeling for which there is no logical explanation has an equal pull.

As we enter match day of two game day and we are already in control of our knock-out round destiny.  That is simply mind-boggling given the realities going into this World Cup.  What I realized watching the send-off series is this, not sure these kid know how to lose. They find ways to pull out wins when God knows they should not.   It is always better to be luck then good..  ALWAYS.

Given all this fighting in my head, I cannot process today..  

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